I realized I have newfound love for Blogging. Mainly because Fast Connection Speed and Streaming TV Series have eloped off to somewhere NOT MALAYSIA. It’s a little like how you settle for the nottie after you blown it with the hottie (FILM REFERENCE BABY!). But rejoice not, my fans. This infatuation would most likely end as quickly as the fetish for latex.
So c’mon, let’s mate Blogging. After I finish writing this post, 15 long minutes of publishing is all we need.

Hmmm, here’s another edition of “The Significant Insignificants in the Life of Theron”. And of course, what is more significantly insignificant than a performance on graduating night? Aptly titled “Pokemon Love”? Well, not exactly — I still think PokePorn would hold better with the teenage audience.
Should I walk you guys through the thought process? Well, the strategy is this:
Step 1 ) Walk unto stage. Flash winning smile. (Note: This would win over the female half of the audience.)
Step 2 ) Dramatic opening lines. (Note: This would lend impact to the starting note of the Pokemon theme song.)
Step 3 ) “I wanna be the very best”. (Note: This would win over the childish half of the audience, ie. everybody.)
Step 4 ) Finish first song. Do an English bow. (Note: Feed off the audience energy. Prep up for second song.)
Step 5 ) Second speech. State that song is old. State that teachers know the song. Insinuation? (Note: Get the teachers involved in the self-deprecation.)
Step 6 ) “Gotta take a little time” (Note: Now comes the “real singing” part)
Step 7 ) Wrap up. English bow. Flash Satan horns hand signal while strutting/jumping off stage. (Note: Milk the crowd for what they are worth.)
Step 8 ) High 5 everybody. Appear super-cool. (Note: Make sure Koh-Oon is within sight.)
Seems like a flawless plan. However in reality, 2 hours of practice 3 hours before the actual performance will only get you this far:
- Walk onto stage. Smile dumbly.
- Senseless opening lines.
- Start song 3 or more octaves HIGHER??!!!! (Until now, I still can’t fathom how I did that.)
- Continue singing until voice breaks.
- Repeat 10 times.
- Falsetto ending reminiscent of Celine.
- Salvage what little voice left. Do a bow turned an attempt to untangle the wires. (I thought I was promised a wireless mike?)
- Second speech. Forget the age joke.
- Start song 3 or more octaves LOWER??!!!!!! (Well, this one I can comprehend
) - Half-shout/half-squeal the song through. Reminder: Do weird constipated faces.
- Finish song. Slump onto mike for comfort.
- Receive your “Three Cheers”. Caution: Make sure the Satan sign does not turn into the finger.
Happy times, innit? Still, I did not expect such a rousing reaction. So a genuine statement here: Thanks guys! It was surprisingly fun on stage, after you ignore the nerves. Simply loved the experience (Maybe enough for a Powerpuff Girls performance sometime next year?) Proof? My new G2000 $33.00 Silk Shirt was drenched in mansweat. That has to mean something. Oh and I just watched the video of my performance. Have to say it sounded better when I was singing it. Hopefully this would mean an opportunity to improve. After all, I am considering a career as The Guy That Performs At Every Function (Tan Yu Song I HEART YOU 4EVA!!!!!).
ps. Would like to end off with a quote just made by the Almighty Kenric, Brother Blood Relative Distant Blood Relativeof Theron.
“Nonono, gays wear polos. Only cool guys wear tight, see-through shirts.”
Gotta love the IQ magic number of 15. So here’s my reply :

How cool is that?
Pardon the Camel-Tail ( Camel-toe, Camel-tail, geddit, geddit? HAHAHAHAHAHA) and have a great holiday, folks. Theron, out. (Possibly for another month. Don’t wait up.)
Disclaimer: If you are looking to read some sort of female sexcapade, sorry brother (or sister, I’m not judging), you 
Recent Comments